Sunday, August 12, 2012

The Relationship Between Men, Narcissism & Religion



          It is not uncommon that etched into minds of many inhabitants of the western world lies a distorted image of the Muslim woman—mistreated and oppressed by Islam. She is constantly portrayed in the media as the victim of cruelty,  left in unmerciful hands of overly pious men. The non-Muslims viewing her immediately are awestruck with both pity for her, and anger at her oppressors. Broadcasters—merely in search of an intriguing story—seem to base their reports mainly on negative events related to the treatment of women in Islam, knowing that the religion is widely misunderstood in the west. They are are swift to depict a woman covered from head to toe in a niqab who has been on the receiving end of some form of abuse, causing viewers to associate Islam and the veil with her oppression. Since the  public lacks access to much media coverage on those women having a positive experience in the religion, many non-Muslims are led to believe that Islam has no peaceful agenda, especially for women. Why are westerners so concerned about misogyny in Islam? In the western world, Christianity and Judaism are much more widely defined than Islam due to non-polysemic canonical texts and more solidarity as far as organization. Also, most western societies are democratic and even womens rights are promoted—so how do the misogynistic themes of the Torah and the Bible manage to escape such public scrutiny? In reality, the amount of misogyny rooted in the the latter two of the aforementioned religions is not much different than that found in Islam. With that said, are the Abrahamic faiths solely responsible for misogyny? The answer is no. The unequal treatment of women predates any of these traditions and can be seen around the world. For millennia, women have engaged in a constant struggle to be restored to their original positions in society of honor and reverence. So, then what is the source of misogyny? How did this phenomenon begin? The fact is, misogyny is the result of a worldwide, political agenda—patriarchy. Misogynistic practices in religion are merely tools used by patriarchs to manipulate women in such a way as to control them, and their resources. This system of male supremacy is designed to create a form of utopia for men to reign freely, creating the rules of the world as they go along—since they control resources, they control wealth. As long as the world continues to blame religions—like Islam—for misogyny, gender inequality will continue on a global scale, and women will continuously be victims of discrimination because the root of the problem is being overlooked. To counter misogyny, women must begin with a desire for change, and then educate themselves on their history. Next, women must become aware of patriarchy, and understand how it has affected them on a personal level. Finally, women must send a clear message to men that says, 'It is not all about you!' to end this narcissistic fantasy that men have created for themselves throughout the world. Only then will men accept that they are not entitled to supremacy, or the use of other human beings simply to gratify their own carnal desires. This essay will discuss some of the effects of misogynist patriarchal values on women across the globe, especially how it has influenced women in Islam.

            It is widely known that early civilization was both  matrifocal and matrilineal in organization. Matrifocal pertains to a family structure headed by the mother, and lacking a father permanently or for extended periods of time. A matrilineal culture is one in which inheriting and descent is takes place through the female bloodline. Monica Sjoo and Barbara Mor describe the essence of original matriarchies as, “...the experienced unity of psychic/productive/sexual/cosmic power and activity in the egalitarian collective of women” (13-25). In her discussion on early Mesopotamia in Women and Gender in Islam, Leila Ahmed mentions that in the ancient Middle East, “...women were held in esteem prior to the rise of urban societies and suffered a decline in status with the emergence of urban centers...” (11). Ahmed goes further to explain that the dominant position of women was so isolated to one area, but were widespread throughout the Middle East. To show just how sacred women were to society, Ahmed says, “Archaeological findings indicate that cultures throughout the Middle East venerated the mother-goddess...into the second millennium B.C.E.” (12) Seeking power and control, men began resisting matriarchal values to establish social hierarchies and. The rise of patriarchy resulted in dualism—dividing life into higher and lower categories. This dualism resulted the binary opposition of male and female, as superior versus inferior.  Speaking of the modern world, Patriarchy is “a politics of transforming biological sex into politicised gender, which prioritises the male while making the woman different (unequal), less than, or the other” (Barlas 1).  The patriarchal ideal that God prefers men to women has given men the impression that they are superior by nature, and should be managers and rulers of women. Asma Burlas counters this assumption well in Quran and Patriarchy when stating, “...As the Quran teaches, God is beyond sex/gender, not only is there no reason to masculinize God, but there is also no reason to assume that God has any particular relationship to, or affinity with, males” (9).Through imperialism and evangelism of religious doctrine, male dominance spread, and various religious and social institutions were established under their control. Major religious institutions involved in this global transformation served helped to propagate misogynist ideals, which gained popularity among the masses disguised as hope for the lost. This is not exclusive to Islam, as Christianity and Judaism carried out a patriarchal agenda in the same manner. In his discussion of women in the Middle East, As'ad Abukhalil stated, “...Polygamy, the stigmatization of menstruation, the requirement of wifely obedience to the husband, and the inequality of inheritance and court appearances. All...have at one point or another been part of the Christian and Jewish practices or cultures” (par. 3). Because the Abrahamic faiths were founded on the patriarchal, misogynist values that preceded their existence, many of the modern practices of these religions still reflect the popular views held by society at the time they were established. Accordingly, the idea of the inferiority of women is found in every culture that these religions have touched around the world. Nearly forgotten, matriarchal values are slowly being restored in western culture today as people are introduced to the divine feminine aspects of cosmology and consciousness. To counter the ill effects of thousands of years of male domination, this process will take time.

            Islam is widely misunderstood in the western world because of the various interpretation of religious doctrine in the Muslim world. Since not all Muslims agree on a single interpretation of their religious principles, it is very difficult for a non-Muslim to grasp a full understanding of the religion. The Quran is not the only canon for Muslims; various hadiths have unevenly shaped their religious practices. There have been so many hadiths published, and many Muslims prioritize them above the Quran.

            A close look at the events that characterized the life of the Prophet reveals his egalitarian view of the sexes.  Fatima Mernissi highlighted the gentle and fair manner in which the Prophet interacted with his wives, willingly including them in most of his affairs. According to the Quran, men and women were created equally, and viewed equally in the eyes of Allah (Quran, 4.1, 3.195). Similarly, according to the first creation myth in the Bible, “God created man in his own image...male and female he created them.” There is no noted distinction between the sexes made in these verses, and the word 'them' is used to describe the subjects of God's actions at all times, obviously denoting equality (New International Version Bible, Gen. 1.27-31). Interestingly, there is a second creation myth in the Bible that accounts for Adam and Eve—neither of which were mentioned in the first. In this second myth, God gave Eve to Adam as a “helper suitable for him.” Eve was made from the rib of Adam, signifying a common biological link between the sexes (New International Version Bible, Gen. 2.18-23). It is clearly seen that in neither of the creation myths of the Bible is the male given superiority over the woman. Only later is the woman blamed for the fall of mankind from the grace of God, and the man given dominion over her. The Quran does not discriminate between men or women in terms of who is considered a believer by Allah, but various hadiths have been introduced in direct contrast to this truth (Quran, 33.35-36). Muslim leaders have justified unequal treatment of women based on assumptions paired with interpretations of Quranic verses, and countless misogynistic hadiths to support their own domineering political agendas. For example, Abu Huraira recounted a hadith that has shaped a widely-held modern Muslim opinion on the nature of a woman. He said, “The woman is like a rib, if you try to straighten her, she will break. So if you want to get benefit from her, do so while she still has some crookedness” (Khan, 7.62.113). This implies that by nature, women—unlike men—are weak and flawed in a way that cannot be perfected. Let it be noted that the Quran states that, “[Mankind] was created weak,” which means every human being has imperfections—including men (Quran, 4.28). Secondly, Huraira is insisting that every woman has a breaking point, and she should be used to benefit men prior to reaching it. This widely accepted hadith serves only to give men a means to mask their superiority complex, so that they can justify their insatiable lust for power and control over resources. This patriarchal, misogynistic value that many men hold can be seen on a global scale, regardless of religion. Mernissi explains how this superiority complex has interfered with loyalty to the Islamic faith when she says, “...The men professed Islam, but openly rejected it when it supported equality between the sexes” (129). This brings into question whether misogynist Muslim men are purposely using the religion as a persuasive tool to gain political power, or truly devoted to the will of Allah with a poor understanding of the Quran. Mernissi even noted two major motivators of Muslim believers, “...booty, along with the promised life in paradise...” (134). Much can be said when a man is willing to trade in that fate to avoid acknowledging the equality of a woman.

            The belief in women as inferior beings is the driving force behind every form of unfair treatment of women around the world. It is the fundamental component of misogyny, as it is used to justify a less-acceptable form for treatment for women, who are seen a nearly less than human. This can even be seen in the Bible when the Apostle Peter refers to married women as the “weaker partner” in his address to the Romans (New International Version Bible, 1Pet. 3.7). Also in the Apostle Paul's letter to Timothy, his reason for instructing a woman not to have authority over a man is because, “Adam was formed first, then Eve. [He] was not the one deceived; it was [Eve] who was deceived and became a sinner” (New International Version Bible, 1Tim. 2.12-14). As was the case with the conflicting hadith mentioned before, these verses are in stark contrast to the creation myth in the book of Genesis. A review of the third chapter of Genesis will show that, “[Eve] gave some [forbidden fruit] to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it.” Adam was not forced or coerced into sinning, but did so by his own free will. This is a significant point because it results in women being blamed for mankind's separation from God—even though men agree to their participation. Blaming women for mankind's separation from God is not exclusive to the Abrahamic faiths, this and can be seen in theodicies around the world. Just as in the myth of Pandora's box, and the creation myth of the Ashanti tribe of West Africa—the blame is placed on women for ushering evil and suffering into human existence. So, the aforementioned hadith is only a tool used by men to deceive women into thinking that their rightful existence is a position of total dependence on men. Sadly, many women have bought into this viewpoint—allowing men to dominate society—at the expense of many of their own rights, and freedom of choice. What all of the listed examples have in common is not religion, but a widespread, patriarchal attitude of male supremacy.

            Sexuality is a hot topic in the Muslim world because it is regarded as a natural part of life. Due to the Christian influence, sex is often a taboo subject in western civilization. However, on thing remains constant—male domination of female sexuality. Due to patriarchy, many Muslim marriages are similar to a property-ownership relationship. Huraira recounted a hadith that has given many men an excuse to abuse their wives sexual freedom in saying, “If a man Invites his wife to sleep with him and she refuses to come to him, then the angels send their curses on her till morning” (Bukhari 7.62.121). This is a classic example of a man attempting to resolve his sexual frustration by threatening the woman with hell fires. Another attempt by men to control women's sexuality is the misinterpretation of Quranic verses pertaining to women's modesty. “Tell your wives and daughters, and the believing women, that they should cast their outer garments over their persons...that they should be known and not molested.” (Quran 33.59) Also, the verse that states“...believing women...should lower their gaze and guard their modesty...they should not display their ornaments except what must ordinarily appear thereof...”(Quran 24.31), is used to justify veiling women—regardless of whether they decide to or not. Granted, many Muslim women veil as a means of cultural identity, not oppression. However, many Muslim women veil to avoid being seen as a sexual object by lustful men. Even more surprising, many modern Muslim women claim to wear the veil to avoid fitna—being a sexual temptress to men in their surroundings. As for the women who proudly veil as a form of identifying with Muslim culture, there is no issue. However, there is an issue when women veil to avoid fitna because they are just compensating for the failed responsibilities of men. Men do not seem to want to take responsibility for controlling their sexual urges. Instead of disciplining themselves not to act out on sexual urges toward women, they would rather make women 'cover up.' Would it then be fair to mandate men keep their eyes closed at all times to maintain purity, since women are such a distraction to them? Absolutely not, that would be as absurd as regulating women's dress to maintain men's sexual behavior in accordance with Allah's will. This is narcissism at its finest—men find it easier to pull rank on women than to just worry about themselves.

            The last example in this discussion on the narcissistic behavior of men is the hadith by Huraira in Mernissi's The Veil and the Male Elite that states, “The Prophet said that the dog, the ass, and woman interrupt prayer if they pass in from of the believer, interposing themselves between him and the qibla” (64). This hadith has had monumental effects on Muslim women, even in western civilization. This has given men the means to justify excluding women from the masjid, even though the Prophet built apartments for his wives in the masjid! Even in the year 2012, though women are allowed into the masjid in many places, they are often situated behind and separate from the praying area of the men. This hadith in particular is one that denotes a less-than-human nature of women, and that is why men view them as a distraction. First of all, when a Muslim man travels to the masjid, he should be completely focused on his purpose there, and his duties to Allah—not women. How is it possible that a man with a mind set for prayer can be distracted by a women merely passing him? Even further, do these men really think that women—who by the way are dressed very modestly—came all the way to the masjid just to distract them? Again, this is a classic example of the narcissistic attitude of men taken out on women. In turn, men have interfered with women's experience at the masjid. Women, who attend the masjid to pray, have the added burden of seclusion and trying not to offset the men. It seems morally wrong for men to create such interferences in Muslim womens' worship of Allah. This is just another ploy of patriarchy—men blame the woman of their lack of self-discipline in the mosque. This blame, over time, has actually convinced some of the women to agree with the men that this is the best arrangement.

            In closing, the few examples cited in this discussion have shown how a few extreme opinions can be far-reaching. Islam is a dynamic religion—offering peace and prosperity to its followers—but patriarchs have gotten in the way of that promise. Because of patriarchy, misogyny is a pandemic that had spread across the world. Once women take a stand  for themselves—demanding that men take responsibility for their own actions and cease playing the victim—the female will be restored to a position of power and honor. However, the world lies in a disabling, patriarchal psychosis, which leads to ignorance and subjection of the female. Women are not inferior. Women are not a lesser species. Women are the nurturers of the world, who manifest dreams, and give life. However, none of this will ever matter unless women reclaim their rightful positions in society—beside, if not above men!

Works Cited

Abukhalil, As'ad.Women In The Middle East. Foreign Policy in Focus 5.30 (2000)

Ahmed, Leila. Women and Gender In Islam. New Haven & London: Yale University Press:1992

The Holy Qur'an. Trans. Abdullah Yusuf Ali. Ware, Hertfordshire: Wadsworth Editions LTD, 2001

Barlas, Asma. “The Qur'an and Hermeneutics: reading the Qur'an's opposition to Patriarchy.” Journal of             Qur'anic Studies 4.2 (2002): 15-38

Khan, M. Mushin. “Introduction To Translation Sahih Bukhari.” Center for Muslim-Jewish           Engagement. 2007. University of Southern California. 2010. 3 Oct.             <http://www.usc.edu/schools/college/crcc/engagement/resources/texts/muslim/hadith/bukhari/>

“Matrifocal.” Dictionary.com Unabridged. Random House, Inc. 04 Oct. 2010


“Matrilineal.” Dictionary.com Unabridged. Random House, Inc. 04 Oct. 2010


Mernissi, Fatima. The Veil and the Make Elite: A Feminist Interpretation of Women's Right in Islam.

            Great Britain: Basic Books, 1992.

Women of Faith Study Bible: New International Version. Ed. Jean E. Syswerda.

            Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2001.

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